Have you heard it? Shhhh listen.
What’s the voice saying?
- You can’t do it.
- You are always late.
- Your boss is disappointed with you.
- They won’t like your presentation.
- You can’t wear that.
- You are failing as a mother.
- You are fat.
- You are so wrinkled.
- People pretend to like you.
- You aren’t qualified enough.
- They will work out that you do not know what you are doing.
Sound familiar? Yes this is the constant companion we have in our heads that keeps up a never-ending monologue telling us we are not good enough and that we do not matter. Do you even hear that voice anymore? The voice in your head? Or is the voice just background sound?
In the words of Lisa M. Hayes – “Be careful of how you are talking to yourself because you are listening.”
That’s the thing, even though you may not be consciously aware anymore of what your voice is telling you, you are listening.
How do we get around this?
Two ways – acknowledgement and affirmations.
Spend some time in the next week being aware of what your Voice is telling you. It may be all good stuff in which case that’s super-awesome.
Think of a child in a shopping centre trying to get her mother’s attention. She starts off with a gentle “Mom” and gets progressively louder and more insistent until her mother turns towards her and says, “What?” (this is the real world here :-))
The child stops with the “Mom, Mommy , Ma” because she is now being heard.
So too with your persistent voice. Listen to your Voice and acknowledge it.
YES VOICE – I hear you. You are wrong. My presentation will be amazing.
YES VOICE – I hear you. You are wrong. I am an awesome person and I make a difference every day.
Acknowledgement is key because it stops the Voice and it makes you aware of the poison that you are feeding yourself. Of course the Voice will wait a while and try again, but persistence is required.
Oh – hello Voice – you are back with the same nonsense. I hear you and you are wrong.
Soon the Voice will be less persistent and will give up.
That is where Affirmations are really useful.
What are Affirmations?
Positive phrases that mean something to you and are said in the present tense. How often should you say them? Often. Think of how often the Voice tells you nonsense.
An affirmation would not be
I will be an ok MOM in a years’ time. You need to say – “I am an amazing Mom”
Do you have affirmations? Would you like to share them with us?
One of my affirmations is that no matter where I go I attract awesome people and I make a difference. Do you know, I have never been anywhere and not met awesome people?
They key to anything is to make it a habit. We will talk more about habits in another post. Affirmations have the most impact when you have made saying them and believing them a habit. During a presentation the other day, a lady in the audience shared her affirmations with us. She had them written on a piece of card and she carried them in her diary. She said she then got a chance to say/read her affirmations often during the work day. I have come across people who have their affirmations stuck to the fridge or the bathroom mirror. A couple I know has put theirs up on opposite ends of the bathroom mirror.
They key here is to find what works for you and to do it.