Is this you?
Are you cycling through life trying to balance all these boxes from your past? They certainly do not make your journey easy.
What’s in these boxes? Memories of events. That is what is in them.
Not the happy memories where you laughed and felt loved and appreciated and happy. No, those memories you keep in your heart and they do not weigh a thing.
Let’s look at what is in some of these boxes:
Right in the middle there is a box that has your ex boss in it. He was rather mean to you and you have never forgotten him.
Then right at the bottom there is a box with your Grade 1 teacher in it. As you open the box you relive being six and her not allowing you to go to the toilet in time. You can still feel the embarrassment as you wet yourself in front of all your classmates. You could cry all over again and so you quickly shut that box and put it back.
In other boxes you will find an ex-friend, an ex-partner and there are probably a few boxes reserved for the in-laws. There may even be a box with a current friend in it. You may even have living in a country stuffed in a box. What else is in those boxes? You know what is in them. You know that these boxes weigh you down and prevent you from living the great life you are meant to lead.
Why do you carry these boxes? These are the big events and key people that have made you cry or embarrassed or angry. The times when you have felt small or wronged or damaged have all been packed away. You have stored them and every so often you unpack some boxes and relive the emotion of when it first happened as if it were yesterday. So much pain relived. You close the boxes and cling to them tighter.
How do all these boxes balance and not fall off you are probably asking? They are attached with chains of pain. The tighter you cling to the memory and to the emotions, the stronger the chain tightens.
Some memories have been boxed quickly because they were too painful and so they are hidden and you do not go anywhere near those boxes. But they are there and they are very heavy. You will find that sometimes the world triggers a memory and those boxes seem to unpack themselves and spew painful ugliness that you didn’t deal with at the time.
Then there are the less heavy boxes that you do regular stock take on and relive the emotion and get all indignant again at how you could be treated like that.
So here is the thing. I want you to ask yourself why are you dragging these events and people with you for 10, 15, 20 or more years? How do they serve you? Do you need them for where you are going?
If you change the thought, you can change the emotion.
Maybe that Grade 1 teacher did not know you needed the bathroom. It could be that you left it too late to tell her. Or maybe you were shouting inside, but the words didn’t come out of your mouth. Lots of people say that you have to be able to forgive to let go and move forward. The idea would be then to find this teacher and forgive her for what she did to you, (or rather what you think she did.) I think that you have to choose to let go. You choose to no longer carry that with you as it no longer serves you. This doesn’t mean that you have to go find her. Whether she intended it or not, you just actively let her go. And with that decision the box with her in it falls off as the chains of pain fall away. You could benefit from visualising yourself cutting the chain that holds the box.
Of course, you may have spent years feeling this way. Your thoughts and emotions about this particular teacher have become a habit and so down the line you may find that the box tries to reattach itself. Calmly tell it – I see you “box” and way of thinking. You cannot serve me on this journey. You have been let go. Habits have to be replaced with new habits and the only way to do that is with persistent repetition.
The thing is that the number of boxes you choose to keep attached to you as you cycle through your life is dependant on one thing and one thing only.
Nobody and nothing else. Only you.
You will tell me that some things or people have been so bad that of course you need to carry them with you. This will apply especially to those boxes that you quickly packed because dealing with the emotion at the time was too painful.
Those are your thoughts. Only you have the power to change your thoughts. You can change them.
It is so much easier to find and use your greatness if you do not have the past holding you back.
Colleen can be contacted on firstname.lastname@example.org